


Not The End

by ScorpioGirl1987



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-23 22:06:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpioGirl1987/pseuds/ScorpioGirl1987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After discovering he has been diagnosed with a deadly disease and also only has a year left to live, Finn sets his affairs in order and spends more time with his loved ones. But will they have enough time, or will Finn go too soon? How will his loved ones cope? Mainly Finchel, Klaine, and Furt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this was first published on Fanfiction.net, so I thought I'd test out this site. I made a (now AU) fanfic about Kurt's father dying, now I'm making a fanfic of his brother dying (Man, that guy can't catch a break, can he? Neither can Carole…or Burt…or Rachel). Now, Finn is definitely going to be in this fanfic (since I'm probably going to write his POV after he dies anyway). I'm sure Glee is going to be more watered down than this fanfic (Just being realistic). 
> 
> I do not own Glee or any of the songs used in this fanfic. They belong to Fox and their respective artists.

May 2, 2013

It all started when Finn received these little bumps along his arms that looked like boils or pimples. He tried popping them, cutting them off, and putting different ointments on them; but they kept getting worse. Then his nose started to hurt like it was infected. He walked into his dorm room walking like he was in pain.

"Dude. You look like hell." Puck said worriedly.

"Uh…yeah…I guess I must have like…caught something." Finn shrugged.

"You should see a doctor."

"I know…I actually have an appointment tomorrow." Finn replied.

"Okay. Let me know how it goes." Puck replied.

XXX

After a few blood tests and nasal swabs, Finn, Carole, and Burt (Kurt was back in New York finishing off his semester at NYADA) sat in the doctor's office waiting anxiously. Unlike his brother, Finn was freaking out silently. What if he has cancer? As if their family hasn't gone through enough. The doctor came in and sat down looking somber.

"What's the good word, Doc?" Burt asked nervously.

"Well, according to Finn's blood tests, nasal swabs, and pathology reports…Finn, you have a condition called Acute Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus Aureus."

Finn was confused. "What is that- like…cancer?"

"Not necessarily." The doctor replied. "It's a bacterium responsible for difficult to treat infections."

"But there's a cure, right?" Carole asked worriedly. "He can't die from it?"

The doctor sighed and shook his head. "I'm afraid there is no cure this late."

"No. NO!" Carole cried and shot to her feet. "There must be something! For God's sake, this is the twenty-first century!"

"I'm sorry. There is treatment-"

"NO! I already lost my husband and almost lost my second husband twice. I cannot lose my son!" Carole was crying now.

Burt stood and pulled Carole in his arms to comfort her and turned to the doctor. "So, what now?"

"Now we administer treatment." The doctor stood up.

"How long do I have?" Finn asked.

"Could be as little as two weeks, could be as long as a year."

Finn nodded and swallowed a lump in his throat. He was devastated at the thought of not seeing Kurt and Rachel on Broadway, not marrying Rachel and having a family together, becoming a teacher and helping kids' dreams come true. He buried his face in his hands, sniffed, and let tears fall. He felt his mother wrapping him in a hug.

How was he going to tell everyone?

XXX

Kurt was going crazy. Ever since Rachel got called to be an understudy to Fanny, she has been running lines, singing, talking, and secretly plotting to make the actress for Fanny sick so she can do a show. Kurt shot her down telling her that sabotaging the lead actress would severely damage Broadway's reputation and could possibly get Broadway disbanded. Okay, Kurt lied. But friends don't let friends commit crimes, right? Rachel stopped plotting after that anyway.

Currently (and thankfully), Rachel is at rehearsals. Kurt settled into the couch with a magazine and a soda. His dad was free of cancer, he and Blaine are (somewhat) close to reconciling, he's doing great at NYADA, Isabelle offered him a job for the summer, and Blaine would be moving in after Graduation. Life couldn't be better. He was about to put on some music when someone knocked at the door. Sighing, he got up to answer it. Finn stood at the doorway holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Finn!" Kurt exclaimed happily. He pulled his brother into a tight hug. "Oh! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you and Rachel. Is she here?" Finn asked, stepping into the apartment.

"No, actually. She's at Funny Girl rehearsals." Kurt smiled.

"Oh." Finn nodded. A thought occurred to him. "Hey, do you think I could see her rehearse, or…?"

"They usually have closed rehearsals for Broadway, unfortunately." Kurt shrugged. "By the time we get there, it'll be over, anyway."

"Oh. So, is she going to be rehearsing all weekend?" Finn asked.

"No. The real actress called in sick today, so she's just filling in." Kurt looked at the flowers. "Why don't we put these in a vase?"

"Okay. Sure." Finn gave him the flowers, plopped on the couch, and sighed.

"Oh, honey, do not tell me you're jet-lagged." Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's only a one hour flight!"

"I took the noon train, actually." Finn replied.

"Mm. I would have thought midnight train." Kurt joked. Finn laughed. Kurt sat on his chair.

Finn sighed. "Remember the first time I visited this place?"

"Yeah. That did not end well." Kurt nodded slowly. "If I remember correctly, you haven't visited since then. Not even when you came to beat up Brody."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that by the way." Finn said sheepishly.

"Hmm. I don't like the way you handled that, but…considering your attitude towards me after- according to you- I did not handle Sebastian right, I'd say we're even." Kurt smirked.

Finn chuckled. "Good." He stared off into space for a minute. "Do you ever want to redo the last five years of your life?"

Kurt was surprised at that. "That was random. What brought that up?"

"I was just thinking about it." Finn shrugged. "I know I haven't been the best person to be around a lot of the time…I just wish I was better."

"Well, you could have been worse." Kurt stated. "But, Finn, you're not a bad person. Yeah, you've made mistakes, but in the end, you've always made up for them."

Finn smiled at Kurt fondly. "Thanks, Dude. I wish we'd known each other longer."

Kurt stared at his brother in confusion. He looked so melancholy and slightly frail. Hmm. The last two times someone came to his doorstep with foliage, they delivered bad news. Was he…? "Finn…this isn't just a social visit, is it?"

Finn sighed and shook his head. Kurt paled. "I want to tell you and Rachel at the same time."

"You have cancer, don't you?" Kurt asked dully.

"I don't have cancer, but…" Finn was interrupted by Rachel walking in.

"Whew! What a rehearsal. I swear-" Rachel noticed Finn on the couch and smiled widely. "Finn! Oh my God, what are you doing here?"

Finn stood up to hug Rachel tightly. "Just keeping my promise to hang around next time I'm in New York."

"Aww." Rachel stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. She fell back on her heels and put her arms around his neck. "I wish you'd come earlier. You could have seen me in rehearsals."

"Maybe tomorrow night?" Finn asked.

"Sure, that'd be great!" Rachel smiled. "So, what do you want to do while you're here? Statue of Liberty? Empire State Building?"

"How about Callback?" Finn shrugged. "We could sing a duet."

Rachel squealed and clapped her hands. "Yes! That would be perfect!" She kissed him again. "I will get ready, and we'll go." She ran to her room.

Kurt stared at Finn. "So, when are you planning on telling us what's really going on?"

"Tomorrow after Funny Girl rehearsals?" Finn shrugged slightly.

"Finn…"

"I just want us to have one last happy, worry-free weekend before it all turns to crap. Is that too much to ask?" Finn asked.

Kurt exhaled. He had a point there, but…he already alluded that something was wrong. The damage to him had already been done. But at least Rachel would be ignorant. "Okay, fine. After Funny Girl."

Rachel emerged from her room and headed to the bathroom. "Don't worry- I'll be quick."

Finn and Kurt stared at each other for a while. Finn could tell Kurt was probably running through scenarios in his head. He wasn't going to let this go until he knows the truth. He cleared his throat. "Okay…if I tell you what's wrong, will you promise not to tell Rachel? At least not until I tell her."

"Sure, why not? It's not like it hasn't happened before." Kurt said before he could stop himself. Finn gave him a confused and taken aback look. "Sorry."

Finn nodded. "It's fine." He cleared his throat. "I kinda…have a disease."

Kurt paled. "What kind of disease?"

"It's…uh…kind of hard to pronounce. Methy-cillin…resistant…soccolus oreus or something like that." Finn explained. "It's pretty bad."

"Well, what is it, exactly?" Kurt asked, trying very hard to control his emotions.

"I get infections…like really bad infections, and medicine won't work to fight it." Finn explained. "They caught it pretty late, so…I have only a year to live."

Kurt could feel his emotions shutting down. Five months ago, he was worried that his father wouldn't be around to see him achieve his dreams. He never thought his brother wouldn't be. He was going to be his best man at his wedding, he was going to go to Disneyland or Europe with him and their spouses and kids…

"Okay! Almost ready. I just have to…" Rachel came from the bathroom all dolled up. Her voice trailed off when she saw her friend's empty expression. "Kurt? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." Kurt said morosely.

"It's not nothing." Rachel replied. She glanced at Finn, who looked down. "What's going on?"

Kurt sighed and stood up. He put both hands on Rachel's shoulders. "It's really not important right now. Go have the time of your life with your boyfriend. I'll be fine, I promise."

"Okay…if you're sure…" Rachel said, still concerned. She and Finn headed out.

Kurt sat back down on his chair and let the tears loose. How much more pain and misery is God going to put him through?! What next- Dad and Carole will die in a fire? Blaine will die in an explosion? Rachel will die in a gas leak?

XXX

Blaine threw his pencil down and sighed. After three hours of homework, he was ready to go to bed. He changed into his pjs and flopped onto his bed. He heard a beeping sound from his laptop and turned it on. Kurt was on Skype. He smiled and clicked. Kurt appeared on the screen looking tired and distraught. Blaine immediately grew concerned. "Kurt, what's wrong?"

Kurt sniffed and swallowed. "It's Finn. He has a deadly infection disease. He only has a year to live."

The news hit Blaine hard. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and a lump formed in his throat. He cleared his throat. "Kurt…oh my God, I'm so sorry."

Kurt stifled his sobs. "I don't get it. Why? Why do these horrible things keep happening to me and my family? God hates us that much?"

Blaine sighed and bowed his head. "Kurt…I don't know the answer to that question. But what I do know is that you can't wallow in self-pity at a time like this. Life is too short. Spend as much time as you can with Finn while you still have it. Focus on making happy memories with him instead of dwelling on his impending death."

Kurt smiled through his tears. "How do you always know what to say?"

Blaine smiled. "I guess I'm just naturally good at cheering people up."

"Yeah." Kurt nodded. He paused for a minute. "You know…Isabelle offered me a summer job at Vogue, but…considering the circumstances….I don't know how long Finn has before he…" He couldn't bear himself to say it.

"I think that'd be a good idea. But….we both know Finn's going to convince you to take the job anyway." Blaine replied, shrugging.

"I don't care. There'll be other job offers." Kurt replied firmly.

Blaine smiled at his best friend lovingly and proudly. "You're so loyal to your family."

"Hey, so are you." Kurt chuckled lightly. "You only get one brother, right?"

"Unless Burt and Carole have a miracle child." Blaine winked. They chuckled. After a few minutes of silence, Blaine spoke. "You know, I was ….I was going to ask if you'd like to spend all summer with me, but…your family needs you more. I can wait."

Kurt was not surprised at Blaine's selflessness. Just to be sure, though… "Even if you get lonely and you need me and I might not be there?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Yes. I have Samtina to lean on too, you know."

"Yeah, just as long as Tina's hands don't travel below the boarder or under the shirt." Kurt snarked.

"Kurt, that was four months ago. Let it go." Blaine sighed. He paused. "How did Rachel take it?"

"She doesn't know." Kurt replied. Reading Blaine's surprised expression, he continued. "He wants them to have one last good, worry-free weekend before he drops the bomb."

"Kind of like what your dad did for you." Blaine nodded.

"Yeah." Kurt nodded. "I just hope he doesn't tell her in public."

"Yeah. Really." Blaine nodded. He sat in silence for a minute. "You know, the New Directions are still attached to Finn. I'm wondering how they'd take it? Especially Mr. Schue."

"Oh, yeah, speaking of that." Kurt spoke up. "Finn's going to want to tell them himself, so…will you please keep quiet about this?"

"Of course." Blaine nodded.

"Lucy, I'm ho-ome!" Kurt heard Santana call through the loft. He heard the door shut and heels clacking across the floor.

Kurt sighed in resignation. "Should I tell her? It'd be the second time 'everyone' knew about something about Finn before Rachel does."

"Well….I'm not sure how to answer that." Blaine admitted. "But if you're afraid of Santana making fun of Finn, then you should probably wait until he leaves town."

Kurt considered that. Finn planned on telling Rachel the following night. He leaves the following morning. Rachel is sure to have a global meltdown at the news. Santana would definitely hear it…also…she would go through Finn's bag…. "She'll probably find out anyway. She won't reveal it right away, but she will try to ooze the truth out of Finn."

"This'll be fun." Blaine commented.

"Yeah…unless I can get to Finn's medication- if he has any- before she does." Kurt sat up. "Thanks for the long talk, Blaine. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Love you." Blaine smiled.

"Love you, too." Kurt closed his laptop and crept to Rachel's room. Santana was in the living room watching TV. Kurt quietly closed the curtain and spotted Finn's duffel. He slowly unzipped the zippers and felt around. He sighed in relief when he found a small, cylinder container of pills, shoved them in his pants, and snuck back into his room unnoticed by Santana. Or so he thought.

Santana smirked to herself as she listened to Kurt sneak back into his room. She came back to the apartment shortly after seeing Finn and Rachel leave the building. She knew Kurt would reprimand her for going through Finn's duffel, so she had snuck in through the fire escape, rummaged through Finn's duffel, snuck out of the fire escape, and then came back through the door. She found a strange bottle of some weird drug. She had half a mind to flush them down the toilet, but…then she thought Finn would never do drugs. If he wanted to, he would have done it already. So, she looked up the drug online. Turns out, it's medication for Methicilian-resistant Staphylococcus Aureus. Hmm. Kurt snuck into Rachel's room to grab those pills which means he knew about it and didn't want her or Rachel to know. Why?

Hoo boy, this is going to be a long weekend!


	2. Breaking News

"Well, that was the loudest standing ovation ever."

Finn and Rachel were now walking through Central Park hand in hand. Rachel laughed softly.

"Well, we were really powerful up there." Rachel shrugged. "I guess people were so moved by our chemistry and emotion. The fact that _Faithfully_ is an emotional song helps."

Finn nodded. "It was the first song we sang together as a couple. Do you remember?"

"Yeah. Regionals 2010. That was also the first time you said you love me." Rachel reminisced. She smiled up at Finn. "We have a lot of history together, don't we?"

Finn put his arm around Rachel's shoulders. "And a lot of good memories."

"Yeah." Rachel put her hand on Finn's. "Tonight has been nice. I think this is the most fun I've had in a while."

Finn couldn't help being surprised. "Really? Come on. You've been living in the city of your dreams for almost a year now."

"I know, but…" Rachel turned to face Finn and put her arms around his waist. "This city is so much more with you in it with me."

"Awww." Finn leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. Rachel chuckled softly.

"Um, just so we're clear…this has been tugging at the back of my mind for a while….is this a date?" Rachel asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

"Only if you want it to be." Finn replied, exhaling softly.

Rachel smiled and blushed. "Well…there's a theater that plays not-so-old movies from like a decade ago. A Walk To Remember is playing…"

"Cool. Let's go see it." Finn smiled. "We can find a seat in the back and play the make-out game…"

Rachel squealed and giggled. "Yes!" She pulled Finn along.

The make-out game is a game Finn made up when he and Rachel started dating. It's a cleaner, healthier version of the Drinking Game. For instance, one peck every time a couple stare at each other lovingly, a longer kiss every time they kiss, every time the female lead cries, French kiss, and every time they say "I love you", make out. Finn made it up to keep himself awake during long chick flicks.

After the movie, the young couple headed back to Brooklyn. There is an area near the Brooklyn Bridge where you can lean against a low wall and look over at the Manhattan Skyline. Rachel leaned forward against the wall with Finn leaning against her with his arms wrapped around her.

"I never noticed how beautiful the skyline is until now…" Finn mused.

Rachel was pleasantly surprised at the sentiment. "Yeah, it's pretty amazing. I wish you could see the stars, though."

Finn nodded. He had thought about that. He remembered giving Rachel a star the Christmas of their senior year.

Rachel stared in space for a while. She was glad Finn finally found his calling. He's really matured since she last saw him. She missed being with him. "You know, I was thinking…New York has training for every job imaginable here. You could transfer to NYU or Columbia or somewhere to get a teaching degree."

Finn smiled at the thought. It sounds appealing, but…he doesn't know how much time he has left. "I'll think about it. I mean…Will is going to be pretty busy with that panel thing and he'll need someone to help with Glee."

Rachel nodded in understanding. "We better get back. It's getting late, and I need to get up early."

"Okay. Cool." Finn and Rachel headed back.

XXX

Santana sat on the couch and stared at the TV in thought. How long had Finn been sick? Does Rachel know? Will he tell her? How long does he have? Do the New Directions know? Hmm. She heard the door slide open and turned to see Rachel and Finn walk in laughing. Santana stood up and smiled.

"Well, well. I thought I heard you were in town." Santana put her hands on her hips and walked to them. "Hey, Frankenteen."

"Hey, Santana." Finn greeted, smiling. They hugged.

"Hmm." Santana stepped back and studied Finn. "There's something different about you."

Finn shrugged. "I lost weight."

Santana pointed at him. "That's it. You kind of look like a giant bobble head doll now. A sickly bobble head doll."

"Really, Santana? Are you going to treat _all_ our guests this way?" Rachel glared at her.

"What? I'm being honest!" Santana exclaimed. " _My roommates sure anger easily._ "

"Only when you insult people we care about!" Rachel shot back. She sighed. "I'd slap you, but I'd probably shatter every bone in my arm from that hard head of yours."

Santana scoffed. "Oh. Wow, you're definitely improving on your comebacks."

"Thank you." Rachel shot back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get started on my nighttime ritual."

" _Man, rituals sound awesome!_ " Santana chirped.

"You should try it, then!" Rachel called over her shoulder as she headed to the bathroom.

Santana smiled after Rachel and turned to Finn, who had his arms folded. "Kurt told you, didn't he?"

"Oh. About you being diagnosed with MRSA?" Santana guessed. "No, actually, I found your pills in your duffel bag."

Finn's face fell. "Oh…"

"So, how bad is it?" Santana asked.

"They gave me a year to live." Finn admitted.

Santana was speechless. She shook her head. "Uh….wow. That sucks. I'm sorry."

"Thanks." Finn replied. "I am going to tell Rachel before I leave town, though."

Santana was slightly doubtful about that. She just shrugged. "Okay…"

"I _will_ , Santana." Finn said firmly.

Kurt walked out of his room into the living room. "Hey. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. Just catching up." Santana replied. "I am going to bed. 'Night, Dean. Sam." She headed to her room.

Kurt shook his head and sighed. "So, how was your night?"

"The best I've had in a long time." Finn smiled widely. "So, how were things here?"

"Oh, just fine. I snuck your pills out of your duffel before Santana had a chance to rummage through it." Kurt smiled triumphantly.

"Actually…she got to it before you did somehow." Finn admitted. Kurt sighed and threw his arms out in frustration. "Don't worry- she's not going to say anything. She knows I'll tell Rachel."

"Okay. Keep telling yourself that." Kurt shrugged and folded his arms. He relaxed. "So, Isabelle offered me a job at Vogue this summer."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Finn smiled.

"I'm going to turn her down." Kurt replied. Reading Finn's shocked expression, he continued. "You only have a year left to live, Finn. I haven't spent enough time with you."

"Dude, I'm flattered, really. But, what if you never get this job offer again?" Finn asked.

Kurt shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" Finn insisted. "Kurt, I want to spend more time with you too, but I don't think I can live with myself if you give up this job offer. Call her and tell her it's yes."

Kurt felt a lump of emotion rise in his throat. "Wow. You've really matured. I'm….I'm proud of you."

Finn smiled and pulled his brother into a tight embrace. "I love you, man."

"I love you, too." Kurt pulled away and cleared his throat. "Also, um…I told Blaine about your…condition."

Finn paled and glared at Kurt. "Dude. Why would you do that?"

"I needed someone outside our family to talk to." Kurt explained.

"And you chose the guy who leaked our Regionals setlist last year." Finn nodded and folded his arms.

Kurt glared at his brother. "He learned his lesson, Finn. He won't tell anybody."

Finn raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, if you say so. Sorry."

"It's fine." Kurt just shrugged.

XXX

The next morning, Santana mischievously put a shopping list on the fridge reading "Mayonnaise, Rice, Salt, and Apples". She sat down with her breakfast as Rachel came out of the bathroom fully clothed wearing a pink shirt and jeans.

"Wow. That's a nice change from your grieving widow look you've been sporting the entire time you've been living here." Santana remarked as Kurt walked into the kitchen.

"It's called 'New York chic', Santana." Kurt rolled his eyes and opened the fridge. "And we don't need mayo. There's another jar."

Rachel thought about Santana's comment. "You really think I look like a grieving widow?"

"No, no. _I_ don't." Kurt replied, turning and pointing to her.

"You know, it's funny: the last two years of high school, you dressed like a Stepford housewife, now you dress like a widow." Santana observed. She gasped dramatically. "I wonder if it's a sign."

"It's a sign that you're paranoid, Mozzie." Kurt snarked.

"'Kay, wait…if I'm Mozzie, does that mean Rachel's Neal? They're both brunettes and they're both short for their ages…" Santana mused.

"Are we talking about Blaine?" Finn asked as he walked in wearing a red shirt and brown chords.

Santana burst out laughing. "Oh my God. I'm sorry. This is just too ironic!"

Finn looked confused. "What?"

"You ever seen Star Trek? The guy in the red shirt always gets killed!" Santana exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, how is that ironic?" Rachel asked.

"Doesn't Finn…"

"Santana!" Kurt snapped warningly.

"…like Star Trek?" Santana asked. Kurt sighed inwardly with relief.

"Uh…not really." Finn replied.

"Oh. My bad." Santana took a sip of her orange juice. "Anyway, to answer your question from before, no, we weren't talking about Blanderson. We were talking about characters from a TV show."

Kurt glared at Santana. "Have you met Blaine? He's the complete opposite of bland!"

"Biased." Santana muttered.

"Bitch." Kurt muttered back.

XXX

A few hours later, Rachel and Finn were walking hand in hand through the streets of Manhattan.

"So, rehearsal's not for another couple of hours." Rachel noted. "What do you want to do?"

"Hmm…" Finn looked around. "Honestly…I'm really not that into New York to go sightseeing. I mean, I totally wouldn't mind living here, but…"

"Oh. Okay. Um, well, I guess we can just walk." Rachel smiled and shrugged. She spotted an outdoor photo studio/kiosk. "Ooh! Let's get a really romantic photo!"

"Okay!" Finn let Rachel drag him to the studio.

"Ah, you two are a cute couple." The photographer said, smiling. "I'm assuming you want something romantic?"

"Yes, please." Rachel grinned.

"All righty." The photographer pulled down an island sunset background. "How about this?"

Rachel and Finn glanced at each other and nodded. "Perfect!"

"All right, get close and smile, you two."

Rachel and Finn posed in front of the camera towards each other with their arms wrapped around each other. The photographer took the picture. "Two copies?"

"Yeah, thanks." Finn grinned.

"All right. Your total is eighty dollars and fifty cents." The photographer smirked.

Finn sighed and dug out his wallet. He pulled out eighty-one dollars. "Keep the change."

"Sweet." The photographer took the money and printed out the photos. "Here you go."

"Thanks!" Finn and Rachel walked off. "So, is your rehearsal a closed one?"

"No, you can watch." Rachel smiled. Finn tried not to look too excited. "Let's go."

XXX

Rachel was amazing in rehearsals. She acted it out as if there was a full audience. She was so….natural and graceful. Finn mused on how amazing Rachel was. Was his impending death giving him a new perspective of life? Was he finding everything more beautiful and enjoyable?

About halfway through the show, the actress Rachel was understudying returned looking healthy, although her face and nose were still slightly red. Rachel tried not to look too disappointed.

"Rachel, you may sit in the audience until this rehearsal is over." The director replied.

"Okay." Rachel smiled politely and walked off the stage.

Finn was unsure if it was a suggestion or a request. A few minutes later, he got a text from Rachel saying to stay where he is. She's going to watch the rest of the play. A few more minutes pass and Rachel appeared on the seat next to Finn.

"Hey." She whispered. "So, I wanted to get a second opinion: who's the better performer? That's, uh, that's why I wanted us to see the rest."

"Okay." Finn nodded. After another hour and a half, the rehearsal was over. Rachel looked at Finn expectantly. He searched for the right way to say it. "Well, you're definitely almost as good as she is, but that's just because she's more experienced than you. When you've done a few Broadway gigs, you'll be better."

Rachel sighed. "Okay, you have a good point."

Finn smiled in relief. He stood and extended his hand. "Shall we go?"

"We shall." Rachel raised an eyebrow at Finn's use of that word and took his hand.

XXX

Santana glanced at her watch and looked out the window. Finn and Rachel were approaching the building. She gasped quietly and sprinted to her room. "They're back!" She called to Kurt on her way. She dived under her bed and pulled out her laptop, earplugs, and the first DVD she laid her hands on (Which, by the way, was Valentine's Day).

Kurt walked into her room. "Hey, I'm going to that Cyber Café down the street. Wanna come?"

"No, thanks. I have other plans." Santana replied. She put the movie in and hit play, then paused it.

"Oh. What are you watching?" Kurt walked to her bed and sat down. "Ooh! I haven't seen this in ages!"

"Well, enjoy. 'Cause I found something more interesting to watch." Santana winked and tiptoed to her partition.

"Santana, that's an invasion of privacy!" Kurt chided. He ran to pull her back, but Santana pulled away. Kurt sighed in frustration. "Okay…you do remember what happened when someone overheard a conversation between you and Finn last year, right?"

Santana scoffed. "Shhh."

Kurt sighed in frustration and shook his head. Obviously, there was no talking Santana out of this one. Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

XX

Rachel dragged Finn to her apartment. She dropped his hand to search for her key. Finn took a deep breath. _'Okay, Hudson. Don't wimp out now. It's now or never.'_

"Finn?" Rachel asked, slightly concerned.

Finn cleared his throat and walked in. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Rachel turned around. "Kurt? Santana? You home?" When she didn't hear either of them, she shrugged and turned back to Finn. "Well, looks like they're not home. You know what that means?" She slowly wrapped her arms around Finn's waist, running her hands underneath his shirt, and smiling suggestively.

Finn studied Rachel's face. It saddened him that he may never see her smile like that again. He gently unwrapped her arms. "Rachel, wait….there's something I need to tell you."

Rachel's face fell slightly. "Oh. Okay. What is it?"

Finn led her to the couch. Unseen by the two, Santana and Kurt parted the curtain so they can get a good view on what's happening. Finn took a deep breath. "So…I haven't been feeling so well lately, so I went to a doctor."

Rachel was starting to get a little concerned. "And? What did they say? Do you…?"

"I have a bacterial infection disease." Finn said.

Rachel's concerned turned to horror. "But…there's treatment for it, right? And there's a cure?"

Finn bowed his head and shook it. He was starting to get choked up. "They found it too late. I only have a year to live."

Blood drained from Rachel's face. Her throat closed up and she started gasping and breathing heavily. She started shaking her head slowly. "No. No, you're not. You're not dying."

"Rach…"

"No!" Rachel shot up, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry. "I did not sign onto you dying. In fact, I demand to go first!"

Finn stifled a chuckle and ducked his head. Sobering up, he stood up. "I'm sorry. There's really nothing anyone can do."

Rachel gasped. She went through the events of the last few days in her head. Santana and Kurt have been acting a little strange around Finn. "Santana and Kurt knew…. you told Kurt and Santana before me?"

"Kurt is my brother, Rachel." Finn reasoned. "As for Santana, she figured it out."

Rachel exhaled sharply and shook her head. "Who else knows?"

"Just my family." Finn shrugged. "And…Blaine."

Rachel stared at him in horror. " _Blaine_ knows?"

"Well, Kurt said he won't tell anyone. He learned his lesson from last year." Finn assured her.

"Kurt also once said Blaine would never cheat on him!" Rachel snapped. "And Tina is a freaking gossip! How do we know he didn't tell her, then she blabbed it to the entire club including Mr. Schue?"

"Well, I guess we'll find out Monday." Finn shrugged.

Rachel broke down crying. Her knees buckled under her. Finn caught her before she hit the ground and sat her on the couch. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Finn was confused. "For what?"

Rachel sniffed and swallowed her lump. "Everything. I've been a horrible girlfriend to you. I shouldn't have cheated on you. I should have helped you find your dream more. I shouldn't have broken up with you. I took our whole relationship for granted."

Finn was surprised at that. He pulled Rachel in a hug. "Oh, Baby. If you don't know how happy you've made me, I haven't been a good boyfriend."

Rachel wiped away tears. "You mean that?"

Finn nodded. "I want you to know that….you've given me the best three years of my life. Yes, even this one."

Rachel chuckled. "You've given me the best three years of my life, too."

"We've been better than most couples, really." Finn shrugged. "At least we talk out our issues and work through our problems."

Rachel nodded. "Yeah…as opposed to who? Kurt and Blaine?"

Kurt was about to interject, but Santana slapped a hand over his mouth, quieting him.

"Yeah. I love them both, but…I mean, was their relationship more physical than emotional?" Finn wondered.

"No, they talked…a little." Rachel nodded. She sighed. It had only been about five minutes, but, already she was starting to feel emotionally drained. "Um… I'm sorry you're sick."

"Thanks."

Rachel cleared her throat. "So….I'm going to do my nighttime ritual, and I'll come to bed."

"Okay. Cool."

XXX

A half hour later, Rachel walked into her room. Finn was already laying on the bed with his fingers interlaced behind his head. "Hey."

Finn smiled. "Hey." He held his arms out. Rachel chuckled lightly and jumped into bed. She lay on his chest with one arm wrapped under his back and the other resting on his stomach. Finn wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

Rachel sighed in content. The fact that the love of her life only has a year left to live was still processing. She swallowed. "Are you scared?"

"Of dying? No." Finn admitted. "Honestly, I'm just bummed that I won't get to follow or achieve my dreams or get married and have a family. Extended family trips with Kurt and his husband and kids to Disneyland….old people sex with you."

Rachel laughed softly. She took a deep breath. She wasn't going to tell him this, but…she felt the need to. "I took a pregnancy test after Valentine's Day."

Finn stared at her in shock. His stomach dropped. "Oh. Uh…"

"Don't worry- it was a false alarm." Rachel sighed. "Good thing. You would have left behind a child."

"Oh….yeah. Good point." Finn said, slightly relieved. "Good thing we didn't get married, either. I'd be leaving behind a wife, too."

"That wouldn't have mattered. At least you'd have married the love of your life." Rachel stated.

"You really want to become a window before you hit twenty-one?" Finn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's widow, and no, I wouldn't have minded." Rachel replied.

Finn nodded and hugged Rachel closer and kissed the top of her head. "Can you sing for me?"

Rachel chuckled and smiled. "Of course." She searched her head for the perfect song.

_The choice was mine and mine completely  
I could have any prize that I desired  
I could burn with the splendor of the brightest fire  
Or else, or else I could choose time_

_Remember, I was very young then  
And a year was forever and a day  
So what use could fifty, sixty, seventy be?  
I saw the lights and I was on my way  
And how I lived  
How they shone  
But how soon the lights were gone_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd end it there. The song is from Evita.

**Author's Note:**

> It'll be a few chapters until I get to the actual death, so...yeah. Read and review!


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